Your child’s pace is perfect.

Imagine navigating a world that moves faster than you can process it. Imagine hearing and noticing sounds and microaggressions that nobody else does. Imagine doing all of this while trying to remain calm.

Learning to create a safe space is not just in the home, but in your tone and how you navigate communication with your autistic child or young adult. Besides having patience, giving ample time for transitions is a huge necessity for autism parenting.

With autism, there are so many little things, and every person is different. My youngest has always had difficulty with transitions — sometimes we do great, and sometimes it’s a struggle. My oldest is also neurodivergent, and processing is a challenge when things move at a fast pace.

Leaving things behind that you need, forgetting your schedule, trying to remember your routine, all while doing it at a fast pace when you’re already struggling to process, can be triggering and put you in a fight-or-flight mode.

When Shem was small, I carried him a lot because I was on the go and slowing down didn’t seem like an option. He would scream, cry, and fight — kicking, hitting, pulling his hair — and what mom wants to see her child hurting themselves?

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As he got bigger, I had my own meltdowns dealing with the stress of a high-paced life and not understanding the extra time he needed. He would be stuck in the same place. Now I cushion most activities so we have extra time for transitions. This way, I’m not on edge, he feels supported, safe, and more confident. This leads to us having smoother days, happier experiences, and more time for positive interaction that feels good to our emotional regulation.

This requires planning, patience, and focus. I say this because being a caregiver is a lot of work, and the best version of that is living a life with little distraction and strong self-care. Whether it’s a romantic, platonic, or familial relationship, they all affect our psyche and how we navigate our lives.

I hope this helps you or someone you love in a positive way because no-one should navigate autism alone.

Resources linked:

1. Autism Speaks – Sensory Issues on “microaggressions/sensory sensitivities”

2. Brown University Health – transition strategies for children with ASD

3. Autism Research Institute – meltdowns and the fight-or-flight response

4. Autism Speaks – emotional regulation in autism

5. Autism Research Institute – caregiver self-care​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​